Born January 3, 1948 
Entered September 1, 1966 
Ordained May 30, 1981
Resides Milwaukee, WI

Restlessness 

While in high school, I came across this quote from Saint Augustine: “Our heart is restless until it rests in you.” My disquiet had discovered a name. I was, by disposition, always restless and felt constrained in this world. In the Society, I gradually discovered this sense of self need not be born of worry and shame, but it was a spark of something else.

Restless apprehensions framed so many parts of my life: the desire to serve but not knowing how; the desire to understand while feeling inadequate to the challenge; the desire to comprehend God and others, but afraid of the consequences; the desire to continue in the Society, but with doubts. Pedro Arrupe and General Congregation 32 changed that, and the following words in particular:

“What is it to be a companion of Jesus today? It is to engage, under the standard of the cross, in the crucial struggle of our time: the struggle for faith and that struggle for justice which it includes.” (GC32, Decree 4)

The scales fell away. Everything of the Spiritual Exercises became clear. What was important was to be engaged in the struggle. That did not mean succeeding, but lively involvement was required. From that time forward, whatever the Society asked of me became something to engage in, and I found God’s repeating graces in every facet of life. The words of G.M. Hopkins are real: “Over again I feel thy finger and find thee.”